The emotion of the beginning will never be sufficient to carry you to the end
I'm not going to lie... the second time around seems harder. Maybe it is because we are older, maybe because we now have a child, maybe because you start to realize the cost of being a missionary. The very first time we went out as missionaries Josh and I were in our early twenties and ready for the adventure of moving to another country to do Chi Alpha. We had been married for barely a year and willing to do whatever the Lord asked. It all sounded so fun and exciting!
Fast forward 5 years later and here we are transitioning to go back to Chile for our second term. It is still our God lead decision. Our hearts are still committed to God's call to pioneer university ministry in Chile but the emotion has wained a little. We are weary from traveling and going from church to church, sharing our heart for Chile. Let me clarify that itineration is one of the essences of what we do and I would not change that. It is so beautiful the way God uses churches and families to send missionaries all over the world so that TOGETHER they can fulfill the Great Commission! It's hard work just like any other job.
Lately I have also been struggling with the guilt of uprooting Naomi from the home we've established in Katy and distancing her from the family she has gotten to know this year. It hurts and it is not easy, but here is where I have to choose to trust God and believe my daughter will be okay! I came to the conclusion that I am not putting my daughter in any danger or damaging her in any way. As a matter of fact I believe that by teaching my daughter to adapt to a different culture and way of life is only creating her to become a well rounded individual who will have a lot to offer in life. I have also had to constantly ask God to fill my heart with gratitude and cherish all the great moments we have with family. We have worked and traveled a lot but we have also spent lots of sweet times with our loved ones. I am extremely thankful for SKYPE and the ability to connect with family over the internet while we are in Chile.
Don't even get me started with packing...even though we've done it many times packing up a house does not get any easier, especially for a detailed and analytical person like me. We've been in this house for nearly a year and I am just now beginning to feel settled. Now it's time to put it back into boxes or get rid of it. Verses 19-21 in Matthew 6 takes on a different perspective and you really learn to detach yourself from stuff.
19“Don’t store up treasures here on earth, where moths eat them and rust destroys them, and where thieves break in and steal. 20 Store your treasures in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal. 21 Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be.
So I guess I can say I am use to it but it is still quite stressful.
Right before we left for Chile the first time a pastor told us some very wise words that have echoed at varies moments of our lives since then. He said, "the emotion of the beginning will never be sufficient to carry you until the end." During this season of transition these words echo in our hearts daily. We are committed to a call and a purpose that far outweighs our own emotions. Our emotions aren't bad, we just should not make life decisions based solely on them. It's kind of like marrigae. You can't base a successful marriage on emotions but on the commitment to each other. So the one thing that keeps us pressing forward is the commitment we feel to serve God in Chile and continue the work He has asked us to do.
Fast forward 5 years later and here we are transitioning to go back to Chile for our second term. It is still our God lead decision. Our hearts are still committed to God's call to pioneer university ministry in Chile but the emotion has wained a little. We are weary from traveling and going from church to church, sharing our heart for Chile. Let me clarify that itineration is one of the essences of what we do and I would not change that. It is so beautiful the way God uses churches and families to send missionaries all over the world so that TOGETHER they can fulfill the Great Commission! It's hard work just like any other job.
Lately I have also been struggling with the guilt of uprooting Naomi from the home we've established in Katy and distancing her from the family she has gotten to know this year. It hurts and it is not easy, but here is where I have to choose to trust God and believe my daughter will be okay! I came to the conclusion that I am not putting my daughter in any danger or damaging her in any way. As a matter of fact I believe that by teaching my daughter to adapt to a different culture and way of life is only creating her to become a well rounded individual who will have a lot to offer in life. I have also had to constantly ask God to fill my heart with gratitude and cherish all the great moments we have with family. We have worked and traveled a lot but we have also spent lots of sweet times with our loved ones. I am extremely thankful for SKYPE and the ability to connect with family over the internet while we are in Chile.Don't even get me started with packing...even though we've done it many times packing up a house does not get any easier, especially for a detailed and analytical person like me. We've been in this house for nearly a year and I am just now beginning to feel settled. Now it's time to put it back into boxes or get rid of it. Verses 19-21 in Matthew 6 takes on a different perspective and you really learn to detach yourself from stuff.
19“Don’t store up treasures here on earth, where moths eat them and rust destroys them, and where thieves break in and steal. 20 Store your treasures in heaven, where moths and rust cannot destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal. 21 Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be.
So I guess I can say I am use to it but it is still quite stressful.
Right before we left for Chile the first time a pastor told us some very wise words that have echoed at varies moments of our lives since then. He said, "the emotion of the beginning will never be sufficient to carry you until the end." During this season of transition these words echo in our hearts daily. We are committed to a call and a purpose that far outweighs our own emotions. Our emotions aren't bad, we just should not make life decisions based solely on them. It's kind of like marrigae. You can't base a successful marriage on emotions but on the commitment to each other. So the one thing that keeps us pressing forward is the commitment we feel to serve God in Chile and continue the work He has asked us to do.
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